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University of Wyoming

Being in a Relationship Should Feel Good

Violence, fear and controlling behaviors should not be a part of any relationship. If you think you might be in an abusive relationship, talk it over with someone you trust. Don’t believe anyone who says you are to blame.

Usually, abusive relationships start out with some of the behaviors mentioned above and escalate into what is known as a cycle of violence.

What is the cycle of violence?
Relationship violence often follows a predictable path called the cycle of violence. The cycle of violence is a pattern of behaviors that are common to most relationships where one partner is trying to control the other’s behavior by being abusive. The cycle works like this: First, there is an acute abusive incident; this can be either physical or verbal. This is followed by the honeymoon phase in which the abuser is apologetic. They may promise to change or say that it will never happen again. This honeymoon phase eventually fades and the tension-building phase grows. Verbal and emotional abuse increase until there is another acute incident. Acute incidents cause physical or emotional damage to the victim. Despite the abuser’s promises that it won’t happen again, this cycle will usually repeat itself. Generally, the abuse becomes more and more damaging.

Go here to see a graphic representation of the cycle of violence. http://www.acadv.org/cofv_wheel.html

There is help. You do have options.
If you think you might be in a dangerous relationship and want to talk it over with someone in a safe, confidential, free environment, please contact the STOP Violence Project, Room 02, Wyoming Union, 766-5343.

Studying

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Studying, playing and living safely at the University of Wyoming where we encourage both men and women to be responsible for preventing sexual violence on our campus.

This project was supported by Grant No. 2005-WA-AX-0017 awarded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U. S. Department of Justice.  The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed on this website are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women.